CHARACTERS: Princess Fiona, Donkey, Puss-in-Boots, Fairy Godmother, Prince Charming, Wolf (the story-teller) – from the story about SHREK, Princesses from Disney Cartoons, children (1-2 form).
Prologue
Wolf: Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. And all over the land, everyone was happy... until the sun went down and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a terrible spell that took hold every night. Desperate, they asked a fairy godmother to help them and she told them lock the young princess away in a tower, there to await the kiss... of the handsome Prince Charming. It was he who made a long journey through extreme cold and the hottest desert travelling for many days and nights, risking life to reach the Dragon's tower. For he was the bravest, and most handsome...in all the land. His kiss would break the curse. He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower to enter the princess's room, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, pull back the curtains to find her... (lies down and covers his face)
Prince Charming: Princess... Fiona?
Wolf: No!
Prince Charming: (sighs relief) Oh, thank heavens. Where is she?
Wolf: She's at work.
Prince Charming: At work? Where?
Wolf: In Izmaylovskaya Gymnasium!
Prince Charming: What?
Wolf: She is teaching little children to speak English! Look!
Scene 1.
(The CHILDREN are playing in the garden with FIONA)
Annie: In the happy month of May
Little children like to play.
May: They all dance and sing and say
Winter days are away!
Annie, May: Welcome, welcome, month of May!
Mark: See, Princess Fiona, we know many poems!
Paul: I know a poem, too! 1,2,3,4,5,
Once I caught a frog alive
6,7,8,9,10. Then I let it go again.
Angie: Why did you let it go?
Paul: Because it bit my finger so.
Angie: Which finger did it bite?
Paul: This little finger on the right.
Betty: Let’s play hide-and-seek! (exit FIONA)
Andrew: No, I don’t want to play hide-and-seek.
Stacy: Let’s dance and sing!
Paul: No, not now!
Angie: Let’s play tag or run!
Andrew: No, it isn’t fun.
Mary: Let’s read our ABC book!
Annie: Oh, I’d love to!
May: Great! Where are our letters?
Mark: Here they are!
Stacy: What’s the matter?
Mary: What’s wrong?
Annie: Where are our letters?
May: Where is our ABC?
Betty: We can’t read!
Andrew: We can’t write!
Paul: We can’t learn English!
Stacy: What shall we do?
Angie: Who can help us?
(The children start crying. Enter FIONA and Donkey)
Fiona: What’s the matter, kids? Why are you crying?
Donkey: Is there a monster here? I’ll fight him!
Naughty Boy: Yes, there is a big black monster over there! He wants to eat us up! And he can fly!
Donkey: Don’t worry, kids! I’ll fight him! (calling) Monster! Come out and fight with me! One, two,-
Naughty Boy: (laughing) No, no! There is no monster! It was a joke!
Fiona: But why are they crying?
Annie: Look at our ABC book!
May: Look at our letters!
Stacy: They are all wrong!
Betty: We can’t read!
Andrew: We can’t write!
Paul: We can’t learn English!
Donkey: I’m so sorry!
Naughty Boy: And I’m so happy! We can’t read! We can’t write! We can’t learn English!
Fiona: Don’t worry! We’ll help you... Well, I know who can help you. Let’s go, Donkey!
May: Thank you very much!
Angie: Please, help us!
Mary: Go and break the spell!
Naughty Boy: Please, don‘t go! I don’t want know to read and to write! I don’t want to do my homework again.
Donkey: Sorry, kid! You know, girls –
Scene 2.
(FIONA and DONKEY)
Donkey: What are we going to do? (ENTER Wolf)
Wolf: Fiona, your Fairy Godmother can help you.
Fiona: Do I have a Fairy Godmother? But I have never seen her!
Wolf: Here is her card!
Fiona: (reads) "Happiness."
Donkey: "(reads) A tear drop away." But we need a tear to make it work.
Fiona: As for me, I never cry! So, Donkey, Think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you!
Donkey: Aw, man, where do I begin? First there was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. Then this fool Winnie-the Pooh had a party and he had the guests trying to pin the tail on me. Then they started beating me with a stick!
Fiona: No, Donkey! I need you to cry!
Donkey: I know you're feeling bad, but you got to... (Fiona kicks the Donkey) Aaaahhh!
(ENTER FAIRY GODMOTHER with a loud bang and light effects)
Fairy Godmother: (sings)
Your fallen tears have called to me
So, here comes my sweet remedy
I know what every princess needs
For her to live life happily...
Fiona: (very surprised) Oh, dear.
Fairy Godmother: Oh, look at you. You're all grown up.
Fiona: Who are you?
Fairy Godmother: Oh, sweet pea! I'm your fairy godmother. (Sings)
| Shush, shush. Now, don't worry. I'm here to make it all better. With just a... Wave of my magic wand Your troubles will soon be gone |
With a flick of the wrist and just a flash You'll land a prince with a ton of cash A high-priced dress made by mice no less Some crystal glass pumps and no more stress. Your worries will vanish, your soul will cleanse – |
Fiona: Oh... No, thanks. I am happy already. I have already met my Prince, and Shrek and I are so happy together.
Donkey: You see, there are some kids. They have a problem. We want to help them.
Fairy Godmother: Your kids?
Donkey: No!
Fairy Godmother: (to Fiona) Your kids?
Fiona: No!
Fairy Godmother: Shrek’s kids?
Fiona, Donkey: No!
Fiona: Some little kids! There is something wrong with their letters and they can’t read their nice little books.
Donkey: And they are crying all the time!
Fairy Godmother: Oh dear! What a pity! Let’s help them, of course!
Fiona: Can you help them?
Fairy Godmother: Why, of course! (She makes some movements with her wand and says some spell) Now... Go and tell the children they must stand on their heads and recite nursery rhymes all night!
Donkey: But Fairy Godmother! How can they stand on their heads and recite nursery rhymes all night?
Fairy Godmother: OK, let them not stand on their heads. Tell them they must recite nursery rhymes all night!
Fiona: But Fairy Godmother! How can they recite nursery rhymes all night? Little children sleep at night!
Fairy Godmother: OK, let them just recite nursery rhymes! But take this bottle of milk and let the kids drink it before they recite the poems. Then they will work like a magic spell and their ABC will be all right again.
Fiona, Donkey: Thank you, Fairy Godmother!
Scene 3.
Wolf: So Fiona and Donkey went back to the children to save the ABC. I don’t think it will help but... We’ll see...
Scene 3.
(FIONA and DONKEY are walking. Suddenly PUSS-IN-BOOTS jumps out and attacks Fiona
trying to take the milk away from her.)
Donkey: What are you doing!
Puss: Give it to me! Give it to me!
Fiona: What’s going on? Who are you?
Puss: Give it to me! (Puss and Donkey fight)
Fiona: Stop it! We need this milk! We want to help the children. Somebody has put a spell on their ABC and they can’t read or write! Stop it, Donkey!
Puss: (changing his mind) Oh, that’s a serious problem! Can I go with you?
Donkey: I don’t think so.
Puss: On my honor, I must go with and save your life as you have saved mine.
Donkey: The position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. Let’s go, Fiona. Fiona?
Fiona: Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him...in his little boots. You know, how many cats can wear boots? (Puss looks at her in his begging way) Let’s keep him!
Donkey: Say what? (Puss purrs) Ahh!
Fiona: Listen. He’s purring!
Donkey: Ok!
(Children enter. They are happy to see Fiona and Donkey)
Fiona: Kids! Fairy Godmother told you to drink this milk and to recite nursery rhymes! Do you know any poems? This must help! (Children drink milk and recite nursery rhymes or other short poems)
Fiona: That was lovely!
Donkey: Great!
Puss: Fantastic!
Fiona: Now go and bring your books! Let’s look at them.
(Children bring the letters but they look the same, they are still under the spell)
Andrew: On no!
Stacy: I don’t understand.
Puss: What letter is this?
Betty: We can’t read!
Puss: I’m so sorry!
Donkey: What shall we do?
Fiona: Let’s go to Fairy Godmother. She lives in the Kingdom of Far Far Away. And she has got many friends there. Maybe they can help us. (They part with the children and go off. The music goes on and the lights change to make an impression of them walking along the road)
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Puss: No.
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Fiona: Not yet.
Donkey: OK, are we there yet?
Fiona: No.
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Puss: No!
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Puss: Yes.
Donkey: Really?
Puss: No!
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Fiona: No!
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Puss: We are not!
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Puss, Fiona: No!
Donkey: Are we there yet? - [Puss: mimics]
Donkey: That's not funny. - [Puss: mimics]
Donkey: This is why nobody likes cats.
- [Puss: mimics]
Donkey: Your loss!
- [Puss: mimics]
Donkey: I'm gonna just stop talking.
Puss: Finally!
Donkey: This is taking forever, Fiona.
Fiona: The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey.
That's where we're going. Far, far...[softly] away!
Donkey: All right, all right, I get it...Are we there yet?
Fiona: Yes!
Donkey: Oh, finally!
Scene 4.
(Fairy Godmother is cooking some potion and saying some spells)
Fairy Godmother: A hundred greenie monsters sitting down to lunch
Gobble, gobble, gulp, gulp, munch, munch, munch.
(Enter Fiona, Donkey and Puss)
Fairy Godmother: Ickle, pickle, huckle, buckle, shuckle in my shoe.
Mickle, muckle, nickel, knuckle – out go you!
Fiona: Fairy Godmother! Your advice didn’t help. The kids recited the poems wonderfully but the ABC is still broken.
Donkey: The kids can’t read or write.
Puss: Poor kids are so unhappy! (starts crying)
Fairy Godmother: I know what you must do. Go to the Enchanted Forest…
Donkey, Fiona: Enchanted Forest?! Oh no!
Fairy Godmother: Oh yes. Enchanted Forest. In the Enchanted Forest there is a magic Oak Tree. It’s a wishing tree. Everybody can stand under the tree and make a wish. And the wish will come true.
Puss: (scared) But.. but.. the Enchanted forest... It’s so dangerous!
Donkey: It’s so dark and scary!
Fairy Godmother: Do you want to help the kids or not?
Scene 5.
(In the Enchanted forest)
Wolf: Now our brave heroes are in the Enchanted Forest. It is so dark and so scary! No birds sing here, no animals live here. There are only old dark trees. Our brave heroes are so frightened that they close their eyes and they don’t see Prince Charming who is creeping behind them. Prince Charming is going to steal the Princess! (PRINCE CHARMING appears creeping behind them, puts a bag on Fiona’s head and drags her away. Fiona cries out)
Donkey: Fiona!
Puss: That was Prince Charming!
Donkey: He has stolen Princess Fiona!
Puss: Oh dear! What shall we do?
Donkey: Let’s ask Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. They know Prince Charming very well. They are the best experts in Prince Charming.
Puss: Yes! And Snow White and Rapuntzel must know all about this strange handsome charming boy!
Donkey: Fiona! We’ll rescue you!
Puss: We’ll save you! We are coming!
Wolf: Of course, who knows Prince Charming better than Princesses! And they are so bored as they have absolutely nothing to do, that they will be happy to take part in our tale.
Scene 6.
(Charming and Fiona)
Prince Charming: Look at me, young lady. I’m much more beautiful than that ugly green ogre, aren’t I?
Fiona: No, you are not. You are not beautiful. You are ugly!
(Charming is furious and wants to hit her. Enter PRINCESSES)
RAPUNZEL: Oh Prince! Look how beautiful we are!
SLEEPING BEAUTY: We can sing and dance!
CINDERELLA: I can cook and clean your castle!
SNOW WHITE: All animals are my friends. They can help you and protect you!
SLEEPING BEAUTY: And I’m the fairest Princess anybody has ever seen.
RAPUNZEL: Look at her! She is so ugly!
SNOW WHITE: Look at us! We are so pretty!
CINDERELLA: Let her go!
Prince Charming: Ok, ok! I don’t need her anyway! I caught her just because Fairy Godmother – (covers his mouth with his hand)
Donkey: What did you say?
Prince Charming: Nothing! It’s just – nothing. Go away, you strolling Zoo! And take your skinny princess with you! (to the PRINCESSES) Come on, girls! Let’s have the time of our lives!
Fiona: Thank you friends!
Donkey: Let’s visit the kids and see how their letters are. Maybe everything is all right after all.
Scene 7.
Wolf: Everybody was very very unhappy. They didn’t understand why nothing could help the kids. So they decided to go to the Fairy Godmother again. But there was a surprise for them. What did they see?
(FIONA, Puss and Donkey are at the door of Fairy Godmother’s)
Fiona: Ok, here we are.
Puss: I can hear her talking to somebody? It must be - It is – It’s Prince Charming!
Puss: Was it her trap?
Fairy Godmother: Soon the whole kingdom will be our own and I will be the mightiest and the greatest fairy in the world! The ABC has been stolen but…
Charming: What Mummy? You forgot about me and my magic, wonderful, nice, lovely hair!
Fairy Godmother: Stop it! (shouting) You are disturbing me… Oh sorry my dear boy! Just wait for some time, Mummy will think about it later! (smiling). And now, what did I want to say? Oh yes! The princesses and the children are disturbing me!
Charming: What are you going to do with them, Mummy?
Fairy Godmother: I don’t know exactly but I have some absolutely crazy and awful ideas! By the way, you made me really angry! How could you let Fiona go?
Prince Charming: Sorry, mother, but -
Fairy Godmother: That was the best plan! Fiona wanted to help the kids and I told her to go to the enchanted forest. You could catch her there and kiss her and you would be the king of Far Far Away!
Prince Charming: but mother – All those girls – they were so beautiful. And Fiona is so skinny and ugly!
Fairy Godmother: Silly boy! It’s not about girls. It’s about the kingdom!
(Enter Fiona, Donkey and Puss)
Donkey: You are a wicked wicked witch! And we believed you!
Fiona: We thought you wanted to help the kids.
Fairy Godmother: Who cares about the kids and their silly letters! I don’t want them to read or to write. I don’t want them to learn English! Wicked witches like me are much much happier when children don’t read books or write letters or learn English.
Fiona: It was you? You did it?
Puss: I can’t believe you did it!
Donkey: You put the spell on the ABC?
Fairy Godmother: And now I’ll take my Magic Book and put the spell on you! You’ll forget everything you know and – (opens the book) What’s wrong with my book? I can’t read the spells!
Prince Charming: (looks into the book) Oh Mom! Your letters! They look just like the letters in the children’s ABC book!
Fairy Godmother: My Goodness! I put the spell on all the letters and now I can’t read my magic book! Oh dear!
Prince Charming: Can you break the spell?
Fiona: Can you break the spell?!
(CHILDREN enter asking ‘Can you break the spell?!’)
Fairy Godmother: Well, actually, it’s you who can break the spell. All you need is just to say that you want to go to school, you want to study, you want to be clever!
Children: We want to go to school! We want to study! We want to be clever!
Annie: Look at our letters!
Mary: They are right again!
Naughty Boy: Oh no!
All: Oh yes!